Things That Go Bump in the Night
by The Corpse of One Legato
Summary: What would you do if you could be anything, be anyone? Would you use your abilities to benefit the world, or would you take revenge on those who had hurt you? A monster stalks the cities of Irk, and many will die before he can be stopped.
1. Escape

__

Just one more time, for the sake of sanity. Tell me why; explain the gravity, that drove you to this, that brought you to this place, that pushed you down into the soil's embrace. Give me the chance I was denied to sit and talk with you for one last time.  
  
He remembered being a normal smeet. Normal, of course, in the relative sense of the word. There is no such thing as true "normal," not even a society as highly ritualized and conformed as Irken society. 

He remembered playing with his siblings when the squeaky yellow ball they'd been playing with bounced out onto the cold, gray stone sidewalk. His siblings had laughed and pushed him, the youngest smeet and lovely baby of the family, towards the ball. "Go get it, stupid," the eldest boy taunted.

He remembered giving a cautious look to his mother, who simply smiled and nodded, as he toddled off on short legs, bare feet burned by the heat radiating from the sidewalks.

His arms closed around the sun-warmed plastic ball just in time to look up and see black gloved arms descending on his tiny form. He squealed out in terror and tried to run, but a shock passed through his back. He fell to the hot pavement, his limbs no longer under his own control. Their arms reached around him, snatching him up. Then, with the dull roar of afterburners firing, they were gone into the crowded city evening. 

He never even got a chance to cry out to his mother, no one last chance to say her name.

He would never see her again. 

__

Did I disappoint you? Did I let you down? Did I stand on the shore and watch you as you drowned? Can you forgive me? I never knew the pain you carried deep inside of you. I can't forget having to see the words that knocked the wind right out of me. It's not enough. I've come undone. Trying to find sense, where there is none.

Memories, of course, were a deadly thing. Like small ghosts they slipped through his mind, always at the ends of his claw tips. Were the things he remembered real, or merely dreams of what might have been? He couldn't remember any more.

Sixteen years inside a glass prison will do that to you.

__

Did I disappoint you? Did I let you down? Did I stand on the shore and watch you as you drowned? Can you forgive me? I never knew the pain you carried deep inside of you. Just give me peace, you owe me that, to help ward off the fears I must combat. 

A careless lab janitor, working late at night, accidentally backed into a thick, wooden-handled mop sitting upright in a metal bucket. It fell backwards, striking blue-green glass with a heavy thud. The janitor winced, running over to check the damage. Gods, he couldn't afford to lose another job! He had a wife and four smeets to feed! 

__

Did I disappoint you? Did I let you down? Did I stand on the shore and watch you as you drowned? Can you forgive me? I never knew the pain you carried deep inside of you. 

Good, the damage didn't look bad. Not bad at all, the janitor thought. Just a little crack, he mused to himself, and if they do notice it'll take too long for them to pin anything on me. He let out a deep sigh of relief and wiped his brow before returning to his work, content that he wouldn't get into trouble.

That was the sad thing about Irkens. They'd do whatever the heck they wanted as long as they thought they wouldn't get in trouble. Morality was a lost cause with them.

Perhaps if they'd had a little more of it, the whole crisis could have been averted.

__

And so I ask, for one more chance, to understand this senseless circumstance. Help me to see, this through your eyes, the reasons I've been trying to surmise. Though you are gone, I am still your son. While your pain is over, mine has just begun. 

Dark, black gunk smelling faintly of baby oil and rubber began to leak out of the single sliver of damage in the glass, pushing hard on the glass. Small webbed cracks began to appear around the edges as the goo pushed seemingly harder and harder against the broken glass, steadily increasing the pressure. Finally, with a loud crack that filled the empty lab like the sound of a bat against a solid baseball, the glass gave way.

The janitor, hearing the sound, cursed in broken Irken and rushed back into the main lab. He let out a squeal of surprise when his boot hit the floor and began sizzling. Jumping back, he thudded against a container filled with blood and oil. "Acid?" he muttered, watching as water covered in a thin film of black oil sloshed across the floor. "Great, just what I need, an acid spill! I'm losing my job for this one for sure!" he whined, throwing his hat down into the sloppy mess.

The water sloshed gently, sounding like someone was walking through it. "Who's there?" the janitor called, peering into the darkness. The only light came from the room he was standing in, the light spilling across the wet concrete floor. The light switch for the other room was in the center of the lake of acid, which the janitor had no intent of crossing. "Hey, don't come in here! There's acid all over the floor."

The walking didn't stop, didn't change pace, didn't do anything but grow slowly and steadily nearer. The janitor peered into the darkness, hands nervously clenching the pole of his mop like a weapon. 

From across the darkened floor appeared a young, lanky Irken male. His eyes were a deep red, so dark they could almost have been black. He was wearing the standard uniform, but it was covered in layers of a gelatin like black substance. It hung off him and dripped from his body like gruesome ribbons of flayed skin, swaying slightly as he walked.

Most noticeably, the acid didn't seem to be touching him. No, more than that… he seemed to be leaking the very acid that was spilling in dubious amounts out across the floor.

"What are you, man?" the terrified janitor asked, clinging to his mop for dear life. "You shouldn't be in here, this is a closed lab. I could lose my job…"

The other Irken's eyes lit up as though a flame had been started inside them, fairly glowing in the darkness. The janitor didn't appreciate the rich, crimson color of the small headlights shining down on him. In fact, the only thing the janitor could match them with were the glow sticks dancers at clubs were fond of waving around. With a hiss sounding like nothing any Irken should be able to make, the Irken's tongue lolled out of his mouth and he exposed sharp, dangerous looking fangs.

The janitor dropped his mop and turned heel, preparing to bolt. He made it less than a foot before a long tendril shot out of the center of the other Irken's chest, stabbing him straight through. It went into his back and came back out just below the ribs, blowing a large section of disgusting, wriggling intestines across the floor. They were so warm in the coolness of the lab that small fingers of white vapor rose up from them. 

Torn sections of flesh surrounded the metal object. The janitor, still alive and gasping, fell to his knees. He sobbed hysterically in pain, despite the adrenaline rushing through his rapidly emptying veins. He gripped at the tentacle extending out of his midsection, blood and bits of his own fluids dripping down and mixing with the piss that stained his pants. The strange object jabbing out of his body seemed to be made of cold, hard metal he noticed as he clawed at it, trying to free himself like a fish on a barbed hook.

  
The other Irken retracted the tentacle, janitor attached, back to his chest. Both janitor and tentacle disappeared back into the strange Irken's chest, passing right through clothes and bone like they weren't even there. There was a dull scream and shudder passed through the strange Irken's body like it were made of fluid instead of anything solid, and then silence reclaimed the lab. 

Hot sensations washed over the janitor's body. Acid, acid, acid, his mind cried. He was being burned all over with acid… no, worse. He was being digested. He tried to flail his arms or kick his legs, but there wasn't enough muscle or never left to make them work properly. Shining white bones gleamed out of his torn fingertips at him as he felt his eyes slowly run down his face.

After a few moments, the gangly male Irken's eyes lost their light, fading away like a glow in the dark toy left too long without exposure to a light source. He burped once and his body ejected the janitor's clothes and wristwatch, still in perfect condition other than a slight smell like baby oil left in their creases.

Satisfied, the stranger walked into the darkness and out of the lab.

One moment of carelessness had just released … something. Something the likes of which most Irkens hadn't even dreamed of in their thickest nightmares.

And something was the only word appropriate for what it was.

****

-Assemblage 23- Disappoint

***

This particular monster, who shall be introduced to you by name in later chapters, was created in a role play with Dib's Lyn. She gets mentioned cuz I probably wouldn't have thought of him otherwise. ^_^


	2. Revenge

Dry grass rustled gently, brushing against the sleepy eyes of a young female Irken. Her long, black antennae spread out behind her in a curled pattern. She sighed and wrapped her arms around her sleeping mate, the post-coital glow still fading out of her limbs. 

A warm, dry wind blew across the empty training field, blowing dust and grass seeds onto her bare chest as she lay on the packed soil, her eyes turned upward to stars that were hidden by the lights of the nearby city.

On the top of the dry wind a crunching noise reached antennae, causing them to twitch lightly as she sat up. Clutching the red and pink standard-issue military uniform to her chest, she squinted into the darkness.

"Don't come over here!" she called threateningly. The incoming boot thuds hesitated, then stopped all together. Whoever it was seemed to be contemplating whether they were going to take that as a command or a challenge.

Her mate sat up, his dark blue eyes blinking against the light. "Honey? What's wrong?"

She opened her mouth to answer when a blur of black, all muscles and claws, shot out of the grass at high speed. Iron-tasting blood flew from her mouth as the heavy thing slammed into her chest, throwing her body back a good five feet.

From her spread eagle position on the ground she looked up into two glowing red ovular headlights, her mouth working frantically but not a single scream consenting to come out. Her mate, equally tongue-tied, thrust his hands into the pockets of his discarded pants, digging frantically for his laser.

A black, oily tentacle slammed across the male's throat, throwing him to the hard-packed ground. He barely cried out as he impacted, too filled with shock to notice the sound of his ribs snapping. The black creature, now looming at least three times the young lover's size, cranked its neck back to look at the female.

She bit her hand and cried. "Please don't eat me!" she wept. "I'm pregnant!"

A ruffle ran down the creature, similar to the ripples on a lake caused by an insect landing. With one swift movement the monster returned its attention to the wounded male, swept him up, and disappeared into the night of the grass with him.

The female, forgetting her modesty, chased after the trail of the black thing. "Please, bring him back! Bring him back!" she wept, running until her ankles gave out and she fell to the ground, wailing to gods who failed to answer.

Once clear of the sound of her hysterical shrieks, the creature began to slow his gallop. Deadly claws, impaled through the young male's chest, began to retract. Glowing red eyes faded to a dull raspberry color, antennae distinguished themselves from a mass of nothingness.

Sitting down, the newly escaped young monster studied his pray. The male was awake and looking about, but too terrified to seemingly act. He curled on his side, protecting his soft innards and his genitals as he whimpered. 

A long, muscular arm reached down and rendered the male's left arm from his body. The male finally made a sound, screaming in anguish as his fresh blood spurted out and stained the grasses. The monster kicked him in the side, not wanting to deal with anyone who should unfortunately happen to investigate the noise.

With the crunch of fangs against bone, he bit into the arm and began tearing muscle and sinew from the bloody bones. The male, holding his torn shoulder, rolled to his side and began crawling away, biting back his tears.

The monster dropped one swift smack to the back of his head, sending the male face first into the soil. The sound of his neck snapping echoed through the air as nearby birds took flight in fear. Then, there was nothing but the sound of a feather falling from the heavens.

Leaving behind a glaze-eyed head and the remains of a torso, the young male wiped the blood from his face and strode through the dry grasses. His name… no, the name he'd been given… was Jared. He was certain that wasn't his "real," name, the one his mother had given him. But he could hardly remember her, let alone what she might or might not have called him.

He'd come to Devastus to hunt down the man who had first called him Jared, the man who had been responsible for so much of his pain. That man's every breath burned in the young half-Irken's lungs, filling him with the same rage that would flush through his body whenever he was about to seize pray. It was the same feeling that made his normally dark eyes begin to glow.

The man's mansion, he'd learned, was on one of the moons of Devastus. A very important man in the scientific field, he'd been given a military-owned mansion overlooking the training planet. The only way to get to that moon was to take a transfer on the surface of Devastus. Jared had some free time between landing and the transfer, and the trip had left him hungry, so he'd decided to go get some take-out.

Entering the gates to the Devastus spaceport, he checked to make sure he wasn't trailing blood on his shoes or dripping intestines down his shirt. Such things were sure to get him stuck in customs, and he was traveling with a stolen pack in the first place. After all, if security scanned his real pack, sucked deep inside his gelatinous body, he'd be on his way back to a lab prison cell.

He cleared security easily, never once slipping and giving up his "real" name. He smiled to himself. Security, ha! He'd seen tighter security in shopping malls, or at least, he felt he would have if he'd ever been allowed to see the inside of a shopping mall. Regardless to say, when one is a flesh-eating monster, normal teen activities are generally out of the picture.

His boots thudded against the metal of the platform as he approached his transfer, his eyes set on the goal. Soon he'd be at the home of his tormentor, tasting blood on his fingers. That man lived in a mansion built on pain, blood, and tears. Jared's antennae twitched excitedly in anticipation of taking every life in that mansion, from the scientist's sleeping mate and children down to the very last cockroach.

So engrossed in his own thoughts was he that he didn't hear the female voice screaming "Look out!" from behind him. He had barely begun to turn around to see what the commotion was when a thin body slammed into his back and rebounded off of him, landing in a heap and surrounded by a halo of objects scattered from her bag.

She sat up, rubbing her antennae and chattering in pain. Looking up, her face blushed a deep emerald green. "My apologies, my apologies!" she cried, bowing so quickly to him that her long antennae flipped over the top of her head and dangled in her eyes.

"It's… okay…," he said as she brushed them back.

"No, it's my fault! I shouldn't have been running on a waxed floor," she apologized, her mouth moving a mile a minute, as she began throwing scattered items back into her tan leather carry-on bag.

"Let me help you…" Jared said hesitantly, kneeling down. His thin green fingers wrapped around a tattered, stuffed Irken with only one red eye. The girl looked up at him, blushed deeper, and snatched the stuffed creature from his hand.

"It's a stupid good luck charm," she muttered as she shoved it in her bag. "That looks like I've got everything…"

"Let me help you up," Jared offered, putting his hands under her armpits and lifting her in one swift movement back up and into the air, cautiously, he lowered her until her slightly heeled boots touched the ground again.

"Wow, you're a regular he-Irk!" she smiled, adjusting the bag on her shoulder. "Ack! I'm going to miss my flight! I knew I shouldn't have stopped to eat!" she cried, running off in the same direction Jared was going. His antennae twitched again, but this time from confusion. His heart was thudding in his chest, and he hadn't done anything to work up a sweat…

He caught up with the girl again on board the ship. Looking around, he frowned and then peered down at her seat. "Do you mind if I sit next to you? The ship looks pretty full…"

She dropped her bag to the ground. "Sure, go right ahead…"

He sat down. Squishing into the red plastic seats, he allowed an awkward silence to ensue. "I… thought your good luck charm… was really cute," he said, wondering why in the seven hells he would feel so awkward around a female stranger who couldn't possibly know his secret.

She looked away. "I feel silly about it… some of the other girls tease me…" she looked up at him. "Are you here for the Hover-Hit tournament, too?"

"Hover… hit… tournament…?"

She nodded, her violet eyes shinning with more energy than Jared had ever seen in one place at one time before. "Mmm, I'm playing in the mixed championships! I can't STAND playing girl's Hover Hit. They complain if you mess up their uniforms!"

Jared frowned. He didn't know what Hover Hit was, but he felt like he should. The girl certainly seemed to assume that it was common knowledge, whether it was or not. Well, it had to be something you compete at if she were going to a tournament. Perhaps a game or a sport?

"If we're going to talk further, perhaps we should introduce ourselves. I'm Jared."

She blinked, her eyes blank, before she sat back in her chair. "I'm Dee, Invader in training Dee, Irken Elite Soldier. What are you?"

Jared froze. "I'm… a… scientific… research… proj… person… in training."

"So you're one of those stuffy intellectuals?" she asked. Damn, Jared thought, this girl has too much caffeine in her system.

"I'd hardly say stuff…"

"I was kidding!" she smiled, kicking her boots off and crossing her legs up onto the seat. 

"So…" Jared said, trying to quickly change the subject. "What are the rules of Hover Hit? I've never quite understood them…"

"That's because the only major rule is that you have to get the ball through the goal, without killing your opponent and hopefully without putting them in tract, that is."

"That sounds… interesting." Jared wasn't sure he could actually play any sort of game that didn't involve killing his opponent, even if he didn't want to kill them. He had a problem with not knowing his own strength like that.

"Mmm, I like it because the ball is alive! I think chasing after a rubber or plastic ball is horribly boring, like we had to do in the kiddie leagues." She rubbed her antennae. "I hope I don't get kicked in the face this time, I hate bruising up." She stretched out and yawned, her lean body twisting as she tried to get comfortable in her seat. 

Jared turned his face away from the young female, feeling the blood rush into his cheeks. He'd never really… felt… such emotions around anyone before, let alone a young female of approximately his own age. He knew from magazines that had been thrown into his cell through the air lock that teenage Irkens began to get… feelings… for one another. Were these such feelings? Having never been exposed to a pretty girl of his own kind and age so closely before, or being allowed to talk to one so casually, he didn't know.

He found himself making polite, if awkward, conversation with the strange young female who went by the name of Dee on the forty-minute trip from Devastus to the moon. She was bright, and didn't seem to care that his understanding of casual and slang language wasn't exactly up to par. She had enough to say by herself that there weren't any pauses in the conversation anyway. Sometimes Jared got irritated with not being able to get a word in edgewise, but he liked the sound of her voice so it all evened out in the end.

When the time came to part ways, she reached into her bag and pulled out a thin, wrinkled ticket. "Here, I just remembered that I had a guest pass leftover. You'll come see me at the tournament tomorrow, right?" 

Jared looked awkwardly down at the ticket in his hands, and then stuck it in his pocket. He'd almost sucked it inside his body for safekeeping like he usually did, then realized that wouldn't exactly be a "normal" thing to do, and he'd come so far without giving himself away that he didn't want to make the pretty girl scream at the last moment.

"Thanks," he smiled. "I will…"

"Bye-bye, then," she called, waving and running down the exiting platform, despite her earlier admonitions that she should stop running on potentially waxed metal surfaces. Jared found himself staring after where she'd vanished in the crowd, a strange feeling his chest and head telling him that he wanted to see her again. He wondered how she'd look naked…

He shook out his head violently, grunting in irritation at himself. How could he think such things, especially about a female he'd just met? And especially about a girl who seemed like such a bubblehead? If he WERE going to like a female, it should be a quiet intellectual, he decided. 

Jared studied the date on the ticket once he were out of the crowd and could lurk in a convenient black shadow. Two days until the tournament. That gave him plenty of time to finish his mission, and still keep his promise to the girl to come see her. Not that he expected anything to come of it, she'd probably be too busy to even talk to him again. Still, he didn't want to seem impolite by saying he'd come and then not showing…

That night, Jared did some research on the strange girl. It was almost like she'd bewitched him; nothing he did could get her out of his mind! Not even gleefully planning the death of his former captors took away her smile, her chime of a laugh, or the way the lights of the transfer shuttle had reflected stars in her violet eyes.

He leaned back in his chair, practically breathless at what the computer terminal showed him. She was the daughter of one of the two ultimate heads of genetic engineering! It had to be fate; it just HAD to be. Genetic engineering had hurt him so much over the years, ignored him, and laughed at the pain of those like him. 

It fit so perfectly in with his revenge plans. The girl was tall, the current tallest of her particular group of girls. She was beautiful, amazingly and unforgettably so. Her antennae and her eyelashes were sensual, the marks of desirability for a female Irken. He didn't know if she was particularly smart. She seemed sharp enough street-wise, but still a little spacey at times and overly talkative. She was strong, too, as he saw that she was listed as a two-time women's Hover Hit Championships finalist. 

In other words, she was the perfect woman to bear his offspring. He'd rip her from her pedestal, tear her down from the world of bright lights and into his darkness, where he'd take her as his wife. With all the genetics department had done to him, the female lead's attractive daughter was a good beginning towards Jared's twisted idea of just compensation. 

Just as soon as his first mission of revenge was complete, he would return to claim his chosen bride. And when he held his first son or daughter in his arms, he would no longer be alone… 


	3. Calm Before a Storm

Jared regretted deciding to attend the Hover Hit tournament the minute he arrived. The place was packed with Irkens, and he caught several flashes of ID badges suggesting there were a lot of medical staff around who could be familiar with his creator… and his escape. 

He'd carefully made himself small enough that he wouldn't attract attention for his height, but still tall enough that he could secure prime seating. Plush, red and purple colored seats filled the middle section of the bleachers, with the seats growing progressively worse in comfort as they fanned out from the middle. The taller you were, the better your chances of being allowed to sit in the middle where the nice seats were.

The walls were hung with crimson, violet, and gold banners proclaiming "Go Team So and So," "Your Almighty Tallest Welcome You," or "If it ain't Nanas brand nachos, it ain't nachos!"

Jared hesitated for a second before taking his seat. The tallests' royal box, decorated in expensive satins and plastic super-size cup holders, loomed overhead. Jared could almost feel the oppressive shadow of it, and the leaders for whom it was intended, creeping down his oily flesh. He shivered once, then turned his attention to trying to find images of naked female Irkens in his ice cubes. To his great surprise, he actually thought he found one.

Two small Irken females in rather daring clothes came running out. Their faces were covered, as well as their legs, feet, and bellies. Their elbows and hands were bare, which caused Jared to snort in disgust. Only cheap women would flaunt themselves like _that,_ he thought in irritation. They carried a banner between them, and their antennae jingled with jewels. "Let the tournament begin!" the two announced in perfect unison, laying down the banner that was to go to the winner.

Jared had no particular interest in watching any of the battles except the one his "princess" was to be in, so he mostly dozed off. He managed to get the gist of the game. Two contestants would come out on platforms in a large, clear-walled container and lock themselves to a wall. Gravity would be turned off, and a small, fur-covered mammal would be thrown into the chamber. From there, the only rule was to get the fur animal into your goal, no matter the cost to your or your enemy's body.

Jared did perk up quite a bit when they had to carry one young male out on a stretcher, his bone sticking out of his thigh as he howled like a madman. The crowd went wild and nachos flew through the air with glee as the medics bumped him into the ambulance, ignoring his desperate pleas for some sort of painkiller. 

The blood excited Jared on some level, and he almost threw nachos down shirts as most of the audience seemed to be doing, but on the other hand he was repulsed. How could they ignore his cries for mercy? He'd assumed when the scientists had strapped wires to his body and tortured him with electricity until he nearly melted that they'd only done it because he was a "worthless freak." Was the Irken race really that sick?

The cheering raised to a fevered pitch again and Jared craned his neck to see what was going on. His eyes met with Dee's dark purple eyes, and she smiled and waved seemingly directly at him. He felt a small tinge melt in his heart. So what if her parents were evil, twisted monsters? She had the smile of an angel.

It was only then that he really and truly noticed the hover hit protective gear strapped to her wrists and knees. His multiple hearts seemed to sink into his boots, and he had to be careful because he knew that was physically possible within the confines of his blob-like body. What if she was hurt? He swallowed down the hard, thick knot forming in his throat. She said she did this all the time, and she'd been a finalist in past years. She knew what she was doing, right?

Dee latched her boots into place and signaled to the Operator that she was ready to go. Her male opponent, an excessively tall male Irken with brilliant, blood red eyes was also waving to the Operator. Jared saw her long, wispy antennae seem to float up in the air, the sign that gravity had been canceled.

A metal door sprang open and the furred animal shot out. Dee was off first, which backfired as the other male came down hard on her back, throwing her into his launch platform and giving him first chance to smack the mammal. Pushing herself back, she managed to launch across the length of the chamber, blocking the goal at the last possible second with her own hit-stick. 

The furred beast dug its claws into the wall, let out an antennae-shattering shriek, and tore across the padded surface. The male went for it, but Dee managed to launch herself into the right position to dig her heel into his side. He squirmed, and she pushed him aside to smack the beast.

Her shot went wide, missing the goal by a mile and bouncing the poor, squealing animal off several walls while the two Irkens practically gouged one another's eyes out in an attempt to get to the animal first.

"Tear his liver out, Dee!" a short, green-eyed female on the sidelines shouted. "Kick him in the nuts!"

"Get her, Reiinko! Show that girl who's boss!" the short male standing beside her shouted. 

The red eyed male grabbed her by the ankle and threw her ankle into the gravity lock, slamming it down and flying off after the mammal. The crowd, or at least the female half of the crowd, took to angrily booing. Furiously, Dee struggled with the release on the cuff. She finally let loose with a very loud, very unfeminine cuss, which sent the entire crowd back to cheering. Flags and foam fingers waved through the air like odd little UFOs. Jared got hit several times, and found part of a Tofu hot dog going down his pant leg. How it got there, he didn't know.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is quite a match up we have down there. For down below you see two of our future hopes for Almighty Tallest… the so-called Hover Hit Maven, Trainee Dee, and the Level One Conqueror, and might I add hand-picked choice for potential heir to the throne of our red-eyed tallest, Reiinko!"

Jared pouted. Dee was a daughter of a tallest, too. Why wouldn't they bother to mention that, if they were going to gloat over Reiinko's heritage? Jared soon realized, however, that the majority of the crowd was greatly against the idea of Dee winning. Sure, let her play… they found something erotic in seeing a woman beating and being beaten by men. But they truly didn't want to let her win anything in the men's league, as that would mean awarding a trophy to a female.

Dee managed to get herself free right as the ball happened to run past her. She smacked it hard, sending it flying towards the goal. Reiinko threw himself in front of the goal, taking a massive hit to the chest from the flying beast, and sending his ass straight into the goal. "HEY!" Reiinko shouted, wiggling about while the crowd threw itself into a laughing fit. Dee couldn't help it, and began laughing as well.

Reiinko managed to pry himself free even as Dee had resumed chasing the furred hit object, holding her Hit Stick tightly in gloved fingers. She'd come too close to winning in past years to give up on this year, no matter what dirty trick Reiinko played.

Her stick reached out for the beast, but she'd lost her concentration for a second while setting her determination, giving Reiinko a chance to smack her in the back of the head. She cried out. He'd hit her right where her neck armor met her head armor, striking a vital soft spot. The force of the hit threw her into a wall.

The crowd was cheering for blood. "Sorry, Dee," Reiinko whispered. "I'd cost me too much face to let you beat me now." He prepared the strike that would knock her out and give him a default win.

Jared stood straight up in his seat. "DON'T TOUCH HER!" he shrieked, his voice so unnaturally loud that almost every Irken in the place froze, their eyes turning upward to meet the person who had screamed. Reiinko's head snapped up, alarmed by the sudden sound.

Dee rolled over and slammed her foot straight into his groin as he stared. There was a loud, high-pitched whine out of Reiinko, and in a moment Jared's scream had been entirely forgotten for laughing at Reiinko holding himself between the legs and whimpering.

"Sorry, Reiinko, but you should have worn a cup," Dee spat back, taking off in pursuit of the furry ball. 

"Not fair! I was distracted!" he squeaked in a choirboy's voice before forcing himself to suck it up and pursue her. She'd almost caught up with the ball when it let out a loud squeal and darted off in an entirely different direction, as if it had been shocked. It was heading straight for… Reiinko's goal. Despite a very valiant attempt by her at the last second, the furry beast ran into the hole for seeming protection against whatever had shocked it, and Dee sank down to her knees.

She glared up at her father's booth, where the two tall Irkens sat laughing. She didn't know how, but she knew they'd been involved in cheating. It wouldn't have been the first time their interference had cost her something she really wanted…

Her gloved fingers curled around a necklace she kept on herself at all times. She still remembered the time she'd spent on the planet Earth. She still remembered how much Zim had wanted to get rid of her… until Tak had been willing to take her in. She still remembered the colors of yellow and orange, colors not found on Irk, and she still remembered the feel and smell of grass instead of metal beneath her fingers.

In the end, however, her father had ordered she be returned to complete her training with the other smeets, and the days when she'd really enjoyed being a smeet had ended. Of course, she wasn't supposed to talk about the fact that her father was a tallest, no matter how much Reiinko may have felt free to do so. It was obvious in her anorexic, lengthy body type. 

She stepped into the airlock and out of the chamber, tasting sweat. The green-eyed Irken, a brilliant friend of hers named Ada, rushed her towel over. "Thanks, Ada. I'm glad I can count on you."

"You were so close, too," Ada said, shaking her head.

Dee opened her mouth, and then shut it again. "Yeah, that's one of the problems of playing with a live ball. You never can predict it." Now was neither the time nor the place to accuse her father or his co-tallest of what she knew they'd done. Now was time to smile for the thousands of cameras glowing in her face, and act like it meant nothing.

Jared pushed his way through the crowd. When she saw him, her eyes lit up. "I heard you," she said before he could say a word. "Thanks for… well… not cheering him about to crush my head." She rubbed her neck, feeling kind of stupid.

"I couldn't believe they were cheering for you to get hurt…"

"Boy, you really don't spend much time around other Irkens, do you?" she asked, shaking her antennae. "Join me for nachos? I don't have to play again now that I've been eliminated."

"I… is that okay, princess?"

Her antennae fell visibly. "Oh. I didn't know you knew about my father…"

"Oh! I didn't, when we met that is. I… I looked you up because…" he rubbed his neck uncomfortably. "Because I thought you were pretty?"

"I wish you hadn't. Irkens always behave differently around me when they know about…" she looked towards the tallests' royal booth. "When they know about _him._"

"I won't treat you any differently!" Jared cried, waving his hands, trying not to make her mad at him. What a way to start a relationship with his future bride, starting a fight on their second conversation!

Reiinko sauntered up and forcibly bumped Jared. Unprepared, Jared nearly fell over. "Reiinko!" Dee said angrily, stomping over. "It's bad enough that you… why are you bumping my friend?"

He put an arm around her. "Because he's getting to close to you, and when I become the tallest, I'm going to need a pretty wife of a tallest to stand by my side, won't I?"

"Get bent," Dee spit in his face, grabbing up her towel and storming towards her locker room. "Jared, wait for me, okay?" she called over her shoulder.

Reiinko turned slightly to the side. "Jared? A common name, for a commoner, I suppose."

"Well, I'm nothing special," Jared hissed through clenched teeth. 

"Keep away from Dee. I am taller than you, after all."

The only thing that kept Jared from doubling his side and staring down at Reiinko with gleaming fangs was the crowd around him. He couldn't be sent back to the lab before he'd exacted his revenge, after all. He settled down, seething inside.

"I hope Miss Dee gets over her rivalry with him. She'd make such a lovely tallests' bride."

"Don't you want her to be tallest herself?" Jared asked. "Miyuki was a wonderful tallest, and I certainly don't remember her having a hangy between the legs."

The female looked sad. "Everyone knows the tallests want Reiinko to lead after them. He's been groomed for it. Getting taller than him… could be hazardous to her, if you understand."

Jared frowned, waiting for Dee to return. "I do. Sadly."

Dee picked at her nachos. "Is something wrong?" Ada asked.

"No, nothing."

"You usually eat much more than that."

Jared frowned as well. "It seemed… it seemed to me that the fur beast felt some kind of… electric shock right when you were about to hit it."

Dee's head shot up. "You… you saw it too? It wasn't all in my head?"

Jared shook his own head, his antennae bobbling. Dee slammed her fork down. "I knew it! I knew it! My father cheated!"

"Dee! Shush! Such words will get you thrown out of an airlock, no matter how tall you are."

Dee opened her mouth, then shut it angrily and sat down, smacking her nachos around with her fork.

Jared hesitantly stirred his own. "If I… if I could remake the Empire, I wouldn't… cheat my daughters out of championships for the sake of my ego. I wouldn't… have leadership based on height."

"But it's how we've always done things, and how we always do things," Ada replied, looking like the conversation would result in police bursting in with handcuffs at any moment. Jared had to admit, from what he'd seen of the Empire her fears were valid.

"Then I'll just have to be the one to change it!"

Dee almost laughed, but didn't feel up to it, so instead she merely smiled. How many men, most of them short, had promised to change the Empire for a chance at winning her heart and her hand? Oh, if she only had a dime for each one… "Then I hope you do, Jared. I hope you do."

She didn't know it, but Jared took her words deep into his dark heart. For her, for the one he loved, there was no going back. Not only must he kill his creator… he must dispose the tallests.


	4. Free Experiments

A/N: I'm listening to the Rocky Horror soundtrack as I write this, so the urge to have Jared suddenly don a leather jacket and burst into song is almost overwhelming. I'm writing this note as I start the chapter, by the end you will be able to tell if I resisted or not. Also, in case you can't figure it out, the next chapter was a bit heavily influenced by role-playing with Dib's Lyn. I is gonna hug her! *does and sends her running away screaming*

***

Jared visited the house of his creator in the night like a black plague. One by one, servant, dog, and master of the household fell silently, dead upon the sheets of their beds. He came in through the cracks in the windows, pushed himself past the security systems. One great, gelatinous mass, he wormed his way up the stairwell and took them out by wrapping each one in his embrace and then squeezing like a dark snake.

Some of them awoke. Some tried to scream, their mouths full of his oily skin as their eyes nearly ejected from their heads. The vast majority, however, died silently in their sleep, unaware that the air had been stolen from their lungs as their ribs crushed inward. 

Jared stood silently beside his creator and the creator's mistress, although from the fact that she'd gone to bed with knee-high nylon stockings and eye shadow on, Jared doubted she was any sort of legitimate mistress. No, she was more the kind for cheap detective novels. Jared felt bad. She wasn't bad looking, and she probably hadn't been after anything more than a paycheck. 

"In the wrong place at the wrong time, just like when I was a smeet. Did anyone weep for me?" Jared asked, shrugging his shoulders. "No. So I won't weep for them." He turned her dead face up so her sightless eyes met his. "You'll be famous in death. Scientist and his whore found dead in bed together, suffocated with their ribs crushed. What a beautiful death, my dear, right? Who could wish for more?"

Jared released her and turned on his heel, ready to disappear off into the night. He was finally free of the need for revenge, and his hearts had never felt lighter. There was nothing left in them but thoughts of Dee. He'd start his revolution, sew the seeds of dissent, and then eliminate that bratty Reiinko and his equally deserving of death father and uncle. Then he'd watch as Dee ascended to the throne, beautiful blue tears shining on her green skin, saying her heart ached from the circumstances, but not really meaning it.

Then he'd come forward, offer her pity, court her. Next would come the wedding night, when she'd see his true nature… and either she would embrace it and fall from her pedestal into the depths of his hell, or she'd be one more notch on his belt of victims. Yes, that was the perfect plan. That was…

The phone was ringing. Irritated, Jared took another step towards the door, but something itched in the back of his neck. This wasn't just an ordinary phone call, some little part of his gut said. This was opportunity calling.

"Hello?" Jared said, hushing his voice as he answered the phone.

"Boss? Are you feeling okay? You sound funny."

"I've got a bit of a cough. Damn, if that ho got me sick…"

The man on the other end of the line laughed. "Yeah, boss, I understand, but you better not explain it to your missus when she comes back that way!"

"Of course not," Jared said, his voice oozing pleasantry as his feet oozed upon the carpet. "What's the matter?"

"It's Sharon. She died in surgery."

"Sharon? Gods, you expect me to remember them by their _names_ now?"

"No, no sir! I forgot, I'm sorry. She was the one we were trying to implant the heat vision eyes into. The pretty girl who talked about how she wanted to open up a flower shop. Only flowers she'll get will be thrown on an unmarked grave, now." 

The man's voice and nature made a shiver run down Jared's neck. How could he be so callus over a poor girl's death? "Want to come down and have a look? She's not as pretty on the slab as she was in life, but…"

"I would, but there's a slight problem. I'm far too drunk to get myself down the stairs in one piece, let alone drive myself over without mowing down every tree between here and you. Can you send a driver for me?"

"Right, boss, will do!"

"Don't have him come in, I don't want to wake the house. I'll wait outside."

As soon as Jared settled the phone down, his body shook and mutated. Slowly, he became the splitting image of his late creator. "What a hateful creature I am!" Jared mocked into the mirror. Ripping off the dead man's pack, he stuck it onto his own back. "You'll help me clear security, my little beauty. Shall we go down and wait for our taxi?"

"Charge it to the business account," Jared grunted at the driver as he slid out of the taxi.

"Yes, sir. Always nice to do business for you, sir."

Jared grunted again. Boy, wasn't this going to mess up the police? The man's autopsy would show he died hours before he was last seen. Jared grinned the wicked smile of the damned. Maybe the assistant would get the blame for his murder.

Jared descended the stairs into the basement lab, following a short and squat green-eyed Irken with "Tony" written on his ID tag. Tony didn't sound like the one on the phone, but maybe the phone lines were merely bad in the area.

Jared paused outside a cell, containing an Irken. Only, it wasn't fully an Irken. It had long, muscular arms covered in dark yellow fur marred with black spots. It was curled up in the fetal position, nude, apparently asleep. Every once in awhile its expression would move from neutral to a grimace of pain, though, usually corresponding with a soft humming from the large metal machine.

"I've forgotten what this machine does."

The assistant stared. "Sir… but… YOU designed it!"

"I'm drunk off my rocker. Humor me before I break your antennae in six places."

"Yes, sir. It's your artificial insemination device."

"I don't need to hear more." Jared looked about. "How many are in this complex? Guard and everything?"

"The two guards at each of the three entrances, plus roving guards and a janitor or two. And you and me. Why do you ask? Do you want to… ya know?" the Irken's eyes gleamed for only a second with intent before Jared reached out, slammed the man's head back, and heard his neck crack sickeningly. "No, I want to know if I can kill all of you before the alarm is raised."

Jared pulled the release lever for the device. The fluid within slowly drained out, and the Irken within looked up at him with blank eyes. When they focused, however, eyes that were mere black slits set among gold narrowed. "YOU!" she hissed, lunging straight at his throat.

Jared dodged and easily threw her off, wires still streaming out of her half-Irken body. She flipped in mid-air and landed on all fours. "That's the same thought I had," he said coldy. "I am NOT that man. I'm his doppelganger."

"I don't believe you," she snarled, extending six-inch long claws out of her hands.

"Go ahead, then, kill me."

She hesitated, smelling a trap. Then, deciding her life was forfeit either way, she sprang at him. Jared opened up his chest without any effort and swallowed her inside. She kicked and tried to tear at him like an agitated smeet within him for a few moments, then grew still. Jared ejected her from within himself as though she'd had a bitter taste.

She looked up, fur soaked with oil, eyes shining through darkness. "I believe you. I believe you now."

Jared picked her up and brushed the dirt from her fur. Her limbs were fur covered, but her torso was that of a normal Irken. Her eyes were like those of the great cats Jared had only seen in books.

"What did they do to you?" Jared asked as she shook in his grip.

"I was in a ship crash. Lost all but what you still see as Irken. They fused these… these horrible limbs onto me! They made me a monster! Then… then, I don't even KNOW what they did to my eyes!" she sobbed.

Jared put an arm around her. "Hush. Are there others?"

She nodded, antennae bobbling. "Good. Go release them, and tell them to come to top layer. I'll knock out the guards… and we'll leave this horrible place."

"Wait!" she protested, running a furred paw along his face. "You are Jared."

Jared froze. A trap? "How do you know my name?"

"Everyone knows your name. You escaped. The master lived in horrid fear of you."

Jared snorted. "Then why wasn't his house equipped to protect him from me?"

"I… I don't know. But I smell a rat," she snarled. "I'd better get to the others fast."

Jared was in the hallway, throwing an unconscious guard into a closet, when he saw the red and blue lights growing in the distance. "Hurry!" he screamed, not caring if the still alive guards heard him. "We have to get out before the police arrive with guns!" They couldn't hurt _him_, he knew, but he was worried about the leopard-limbed female. 

Indeed, the guards had heard, but their voices were cut off by thick black and purple tentacles dropping from the ceiling and wrapping around their necks, cutting off their oxygen before they could so much as cry for their cold, unfeeling arms.

The two tentacle-covered females looked at one another, a string of glowing red circles above their red eyes, and beckoned to a male with similar appendages. Eight long, thick black and red tentacles with slightly purple undersides ejected out of their backs. Their eyes were all red. Their skin was sleek, wet looking, and black, not like the dry scales of more conventional Irkens. The three retreated back up to the ceiling and moved with inhuman speed towards where Jared was waiting.

"Get the smeets out the back," Jared ordered, gesturing with one arm. "The rest of us will go out the front and head the cops off straight up."

"They'll be armed to protect themselves from us. This lab was illegal, but… well… not unexpected. The law was paid to turn a blind eye to it," one of the tentacle ceiling clinging Irkens explained, adjusting the red glow so that it wouldn't be too apparent from outside. 

"Right… I have an idea," Jared said.

The cops walked slowly towards the lab, armed indeed with the kind of weapons most normal Irkens would only see in… well, they'd never see them. They were highly secretive military guns. The cops nodded to one another, six squad cars' worth, and moved forward and into the lab.

"Put your claws, tentacles, and whatever else you've got into the air!" a youthful cop shouted, jumping into the lab. Silence met him. "Turn on the lights, guys!"

The cops did, only to find two dead guards, and not a thing beyond. "They're in here, or the area. They can't get away, there's no where to hide in this desert for miles."

"What's that sound?" another cop asked, antennae perking up.

"OUR SQUAD CARS!" yet another cried in horror, pointing out a window as the squad ships shot straight up into the air. "Get out there and shoot them down! Hurry!"

As the officers emerged from the building, tentacles shot down, grabbing them all by the necks and dispatching them quickly. The officers who had the chance to see the tentacles coming retreated, shooting wildly at them.

From behind, an officer felt something like a bug prick on his neck, then full over with a tranquilizer lodged in his necks. The next few moments were chaos, and not even the experiments really knew what happened, but in the end, they stood victoriously over the silent officers.

"Let's leave," Jared snapped. "Everyone to the squad cars! Those that can ride on their roofs, do! When these guys don't report back, I bet the military is going to jump up our butts really fast."

The other experiments nodded. Jared turned to the leopard. "You haven't lived in the labs your whole life! Is there a place somewhere around here we can flee?"

"The forest, but that's the first place they'll look for us."

Jared hissed. "Then we'll go to the least place they'd expect." He pointed to dusty lights in the distance. "Straight into the heart of the city."

"Are you NUTS? The minute someone sees any one of us they'll be on the phone to the cops!"

"No, not they won't, because they won't see us."

"What are you…?"

"The old bomb shelters, from before the Massive was built. If the city is old enough, the underground should be ripe with them. They'll smell and be crumbling, of course, but we can hide there until we figure out how to get every last one of us off this planet intact."

"To the city!" one of the tentacle monsters shouted. He could tell the three tentacle siblings were used to being in charge, as no one questioned their word, and snapped to do their bidding far faster than they jumped to Jared's words.

Jared's information had come from old magazines thrown into his cell, and it had proved correct. Torches lit by the experiments guided them through the old bomb shelters as the freed experiments crept along, eyes of all sorts peering up at crumbling statues of past Irken tallests. Jared peered up at them, seeing that at one point someone had gone through all the trouble of giving a good dozen of them painted moustaches. 

He turned his head to the leopard-limbed girl. "What's your name? And do you mind that I can see your- uh- fur?"

She frowned. "If I had clothes, I'd wear them."

"Sorry. We'll get you some, I promise!"

"My name's Lily. Funny, huh? I certainly don't look like a Lily, do I?"

"Looks can be deceiving. Who are the ones clinging to the wall?"

"The spiders or the octapi?"

"The octapi. I didn't even notice the spiders."

"The girls are Nell and Hentai. The boy is Carl."

"Carl?"

"Carl."

Jared found himself truly laughing in what felt like the first time in ages. "Well, Lily… I can honestly say it's one of the greatest pleasures of my life to meet you."

Lily looked surprised, then smiled sincerely. "Yeah, me too. You're not mad that I tried to kill you?"

"Of course not. I would have done the same thing in your position."

Her smile softened, her heart melting a touch. She still wasn't ready to let herself trust anyone after what she'd been through in the lab, going to sleep expecting Irken limbs and waking up a monster, but… but Jared's kindness was making her feel that, with a little time, maybe she could get over it.

She hated to admit it, but she did kinda think he was cute. Blushing a dark green, she quickly turned her face away. Jared, meanwhile, had completely more political things on his mind. "Are the… crawly things… the leaders of this group?"

"No. There's a very, very old woman with transplanted limbs… like me… they listen to her." The girl frowned. "She kinda scares me."

"I want to meet her as soon as we get into a big enough area to all rest."

That happened about forty-five minutes of walking later, and it couldn't have happened at a better time. The smeets were fussing, many hungry or simply tired from having to walk their tiny smeet feet so far into the cavern. Jared listened for the ones who had gone off to distance the squad cars from their hiding place to return, but heard nothing. He hoped they'd return soon.

One of the tentacle monsters, one of the females, came up and saluted Jared. "We've got several Irkens with great night vision guarding the way down, and a couple of web-slingers. They'll cover our tracks once the stragglers catch up."

Jared saluted her back. "Thank you, but we haven't been introduced."

"My mistake. I'm Nell. My sister over there is Henti, and her mate is Carl."

"I'm Jared. Mate? I thought you were all siblings."

"No. Just the two of us are."

"I see. Where is your leader? I want to have a few words with her about my ideas for leadership."

"Oh, of course the leadership will be handed to you," Nell said, her voice not betraying any hint of humor. "You are the great and terrible Jared. Your powers are second to none, from what we heard of you when you escaped. Among us, he who is most powerful rules, not he who is tallest."

"I don't want the whole rule right away. I'll share, since she's experienced and I'm new at it. Take me to her."

Nell looked as though he'd said something bizarre, but nodded and gestured with one tentacle. "Come with me, please."


End file.
